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Thursday, December 6, 2007

Be Right Back!!!

Well haven't I just been the lazy one not blogging since September. Right now, like most of you, I'm preparing for a semester end holidays and a date with all the loved and dear ones. I think I bit off more than I can chew with this one. It's like a wedding that just grows and grows. but with help from the family, I think we're all going to have a very fun time.
My eldest cousin sister, Karishma, is just going through a rough patch and i m waitin to be back at home with her.
I'm getting ready to write a book named "Uncertainty Principle" which should be released next year, if it does work out. Its about four friends... Arindam (AD), Rishi (RM), Akash (AC), and Manish (MK); and their journeys through childhood and then at MIT where these four meet up for the first time... They manage to do well and have decent GPA's... and then a holiday drive to Goa which puts their life in jeopardy....

Navneet, Animesh, Raghav, Nabarun and I are about to start working (hopefully!!) on our bots to be ready for techfest, IIT bombay, Jan 24th....
I hope everyone has a happy and safe Christmas. Check back soon.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Another day ends!!!!


I suppose it's fine if no one ever reads the blog here. I didn't make an announcement, but I did place a link on orkut. So, I can only assume that anyone who recieves the new update feed there may have possibly come here. I don't know who else might come here, and I don't know if random people go reading random blogger pages, but when I write it will only be because I want to put my thoughts somewhere so that the ideas will not all be forgotten.



Lately I've been a mess. This is what the stress of college does to me. I even worry about the stress. I worry about my health, my future, my relationships, my personality.. everything. I'm stressed, and just a bit more anxious overall. I don't call it depression because that's the word I use when I think someone is unhappy and really doesn't have a good reason why. This is mostly what teenagers and menopausal mothers get to be. And when the later pushes you to your limits, convinced it's her fault because you're still having the same problems with the way she treats you, as she did when you were three. I haven't done everything perfectly. I was a bit slow and irratable with her on Sunday. The lower my blood sugar dropped, the less able I was to find myself something to eat. I think she knows this by now, but she just got angry about it. I was angry at the hurtful things she said and demeaning way she continues to talk to me. I hate further that she does it with a sweetness to her voice, and always defends that she wasn't doing the things I say she was, and she most certainly was in a good mood. In short, I'm not complaining about my imperfect family. But the pshychological games she's played with me all this time, although she clearly doesn't seem to see it herself, it keeps me trapped coming back for more. Friends used to always tell me that my mom was so nice. They seemed jealous even. I couldn't really put my finger on a good adjective to describe her. Maybe that's because I sensed a superficial level to her. I hated that her tone never changed as I got older. She still talked to me as she would to a child.... Or something like it.



Anyway, I don't need to rant here. I do it too often becauase I'm trying to work something out in my head. And I do it more when things are jumbled in my life.




I don't want to be a complainer, I want to be bright and cheery or just not say anything. I don't want to be a procrastinator. I want to feel passionate again about life. Not just in short bursts that don't become anything. I want to be able to roll with my impulses. I've quit smoking successfully, and now I just need to remain there sucessfully. That means next week, next month, and the one after.. next year, and 50 years from now. I need to remember permanently that I do not really want to pick that up again, and it really is worth it to not smoke. And then the other stuff.. I think I need to learn how to only do it when I can afford to spend some hours relaxing somewhere suitable.

I need to do work now, and I'm running out of time already, but I've not been able to concentrate at all, and then was just too tired and finally fell asleep. Now I need to just write what I can for this assigment. I wish I could reach a point of productivity in prioritizing my homework. No one is there to help me, and I keep thing to help myself. It twice and frightening to know that I've pretty much failed at the schedule that i had made and exams knocking in a weeks time. I can only count on myself, and I'm not sure it's enough.




(this piece of thing was written at 2:29 AM.... hence may contain some mistakes.... but these were the pieces of thought at the end of a tiring day..... so its justr time to sleep..... Good Night..... Ahem!!!)

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Sport in India is just another hobby....

“Life is a slippery wicket…”, and as the saying goes. Isn’t it dicey to compare our precious life with a game or have we made our life a game. That’s all we have to discuss tonight.

To start with let’s go to our roots. In ancient India games like ‘satranj’ were played for recreation purposes. During those time archery wasn’t categorized as games… because man was still dependent on hunting and it was necessary for its basic survival. ‘Satranj’, although

competitive, was played just as time-pass. Fast forward to this century; Times have changed. Primeval man has become gentleman. He longer needs bows and arrows for his lifestyle. But as an ant who never forget the route to its nest we have to keep our instinct alive and hence we find people playing it in indoor stadiums.

Games are added in every school’s time-table. Not because it would help students to take it seriously. On the contrary it is added to add relaxation in the hectic life of the students.

Jobs are becoming less as the population rises. Hence we see humans taking diversion from the usual trend. In various countries, sport has become one of the choices for earning a living. Unfortunately, in India the condition for the same is pathetic.

While we were talking about population lets compare our nation with its closest rival: China. There are five major sports schools in China which start training individual around the age of eight and produce nearly hundred and twenty individuals for every Olympics. In India, the absence of training makes sure that we do not get many trained professionals. Hence we end up looking to recruit people from the army to represent our country in the Olympics. How can we then say that sport is a serious career option?

The conservative background of India means that commoners do not get any awareness about training camps, if they do occur once in a blue moon. There is no encouragement from the families where children are looked upon as bread earners for the family. This lack of support by the family for any kind of games have also been shown in movies such as ‘Iqbal’ where a poor boy is made to fight to pursue his interest for the most popular game in India. Hence, sportsmen hail from rich families where there isn’t a pressure to earn money from the age of ten or of any kind. Others are those who have genuine talent and have the courage to struggle to any level to pursuit there interest. Petty politics in India doesn’t help the situation. If you happen to be the first cousin of the chief minister, you happen to be in the national team, while this doesn’t only discourage potential players but also diminishes the status of the team and of the game. As a game loses its popularity it also loses it funding and sponsorship. Popular games such as cricket do not have funding, sponsorships and viewers at domestic level. Many Ranji matches end up occurring in empty stadiums.



Tendulkars’ are not born everyday, but they can certainly be made. The infrastructure to groom young talent is nil in the country. Youth camps to indentify young talent are very few. In them also you need ‘contacts’ to get noticed.

The national cricket board made a mockery of itself when it was to choose a coach for the national team! The popularity of cricket means that they get a foreign coach on demand and manage to get knocked out in the group stages of the world cup, while there isn’t a proper coach for Sania Mirza, who is ranked In 30’s in the world rankings. The Salt Lake stadium which has the capacity to hold 1,20,000 viewers has a average attendance of 3,000 per match. In the festival time, it is given to organizers to hold fairs. Eden Gardens, one of the biggest grounds in the world, doesn’t have a care taker since the last six months.

Everyone in India wants to become a doctor or an engineer and wants to be a part of making India a developed nation. No problem in doing that, but that means that sports as a career option can take a back seat. Plus it is commonly assumed that a person enter the field of sport only when he is not good at studies.

People look for a career that provides handsome salary and job security, plus some assurance in old age. In India, money is only there in cricket, that too as long as you play. We often read that one time famous cricketer or hockey player dying of illness with the national board just looking on. The board itself is in debt, how do you expect them to pay for an ex-player’s surgery!!! In sports your career end at the age of 40. There isn’t a job guarantee after that. The government does nothing to help those who once represented our country. You are only recognized if you win an award, and that popularity also dies down with time.

With such pathetic conditions neither I nor you would be risking our life in sports. After all, life is not a game, remember!!!

So as a tree that can never leave it roots, India too for the time being has decided to stick to its roots. Sport still is for recreational purposes only.

Monday, April 30, 2007

Ode to CS- by Quiksilver

I look to the left and then to the right.
Hold my gun up and strafe from side to side.
In the distance, past the double doors,
lying face down on the floor -
A teammate, dead as can be
I take a peek to try and see
the terrorist who gunned him down.
Nothing there! I start to frown.

I run in there as fast as I can;
behind me was one from the Tharki clan
My blood runs cold, I feel him near;
I scream to my mates, "They're here! They're here!"
Aloud rings a Deagle shot,
the gun I now wish I had bought!
To the left I quickly duck-jump
and a shotgun shell into him I pump.






Flashbang, how I trust thee!
I throw one, then turn to flee.
He was too slow - now blind as a bat
Now he's the mouse and I'm the cat.
Pick up my dead friend's Kreig
and perforate him in the head.
My fingers are getting numb and sore,
but can't stop now - one more to go...

A teammate was killed across the map
and I'm getting tired of this old crap
Switch to my knife and run like hell,
something is wrong - I can tell..
Bomb planted, the message flashes
And my attack plans turn to ashes.
I yell out, "Storm the front!"
But realise I'm alone, then I grunt.

Reach the site and take a quick scan;
I hear the bomb but can't see my man.
I checked left and right, up and down
but he's nowhere to be found..
But suddenly - what's this I see?
A barrel sticking out in front of me!
I sneak up and lunge for his head
he still hasn't noticed me yet.















I plunged a knife into his face
then hurried back to base.
Sat down to defuse the bomb,
which was steadily counting down.
The bar crept along at an agonising pace,
but finally it was clear I would win the race.
I laughed, I cheered, then reeled in horror
As I read those words - Net Sendpacket Error!!

My English Speech.



Last year I was walking through Dharamsala, the Tibetan hill station that is home to the Dalai Lama and about a hundred thousand skuzzy spiritual seeking tourists, when I ran into a stately older woman who asked me to sit down for a cup of tea. She was a visitor to India and wanted to talk to someone about a shocking discovery she had just made.

"When I walk down the street I see a lot of men holding hands. In the west homosexuality is so taboo, but it is refreshing to see it out in the open here," she said in obvious awe.

Obviously this woman had never read the hundreds of news stories of gay people being exiled form their communities, doused with kerosene, or beaten within an inch of their lives when discovered. She hadn't even seen Deepa Mehta's movie Fire which was causing a stir at the time of it’s release. I set her right that holding hands in India is just a sign of friendship.

A few days ago I was going through this column in a newspaper which said STDs on the rise in central jail. According to a four-year study it turns out that 30% of inmates have some sort of STD and that many are infected with HIV. The article states they had multiple sex partners, and may have shared needles. The article ignored the elephant in the room. The newspaper wouldn't even mention that the STDs were being spread through gay sex. In fact, most media outlets in India completely ignore the gay culture in major metros across this country. It is as if the media has the exact opposite problem as the woman I met in Dharamsala: where she sees homosexuality everywhere, the media pretends it doesn't exist.

Good Morning Ma’am and my dear friend, my topic for this speech is ‘Homosexuality’. Love it or hate it but you can’t ignore it... as it stand Homosexuality does exist in India.

Homosexuality in India, despite having an ancient history, is still considered a taboo subject, by both Indian civil society and the government of India. Homosexuality is also criminalised, due to provisions against "unnatural sex" and sodomy, under Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code (IPC). Many interpretations of Islam, India's second largest religion, vehemenently condemn homosexuality. In recent years, both due to liberal attitudes and the need to control HIV/AIDS, several Non-profit organisations and the planning commission of India have all demanded legalisation or at least de-criminalisation of homosexuality and acceptance, tolerance and equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered people.

The history of homosexuality in India date backs to times immemorial. The Manusmriti, which lists the oldest codes of conduct that were proposed to be followed by a Hindu, do include homosexual practices, but only as something to be regulated. Though homosexuality was considered a part of sexual practices, it was not always well accepted. There were punishments prescribed for homosexual behaviour. For instance, if a mature woman was found having sexual relations with a young woman (virgin), her "head should be shaved immediately or two of her fingers should be cut off, and she should be made to ride on a donkey." However, if two young women (virgins) have sex, each "must be fined two hundred (panas), pay the double of her (nuptial) fee, and receive ten (lashes with a) rod."

The punishment for male offenders was that if two unmarried males are found in a sexual union it was traditionally said to be lost of caste. If a man was married and had union with another man he would have to perform the Samtapana Krikkhra. This meant he would have to drink a mixture of "the urine of cows, cow dung, milk, sour milk, clarified butter, and a decoction of Kusa-grass, and fast during one day and night.”

The Rig Veda, sculptures and vestiges depict sexual acts between women as revelations of a feminine world where sexuality was based on pleasure and fertility. In the Kama Sutra sex acts involving homosexuality are permitted in some castes but not in others. The recent book "Same-Sex Love in India: Readings from Literature and History" by Ruth Vanita and Saleem Kidwai analyses the history of homosexual behaviour in India, drawing from Hindu, Buddhist, Muslim, and modern fictional traditions. In the preface to the book, Ruth Vanita says that the book 'traces the history of ideas in Indian writing traditions about love between women and love between men who are not biologically related.' The book has an impressive collection of stories from the Mahabharata, Panchatantra, Kamasutra, Shiv Purana, Krittivasa Ramayana, Skanda Purana, Amir Khusro, Baburnama, and a variety of modern Indian material.

Homosexual relations are technically still a crime in India under an old British era statute dating from 1860 called Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code. But as any other crime, Convictions are extremely rare, and in the last twenty years there have been no convictions for homosexual relations in India.

In September 2006, Nobel Laureate Amartya Sen and acclaimed writer Vikram Seth came together with scores of other prominent Indians in public life to publicly demand this change in the legal regime. The open letter demands that 'In the name of humanity and of our Constitution, this cruel and discriminatory law should be struck down.'

The Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh was asked by a journalist, on the visit of the Candaian prime minister, what he thought of the new law allowing gay marriage in Canada. His reply was that "there would not be much appreciation for a law like that in India," and he went on to talk about how they were culturally very different societies.

Gay marriage is not a debated issue in India, a country where homosexuality is still technically illegal. Except for a few sporadic incidents, homosexuality or same-sex marriages are almost never discussed in public though the situation has changed significantly.

There is a vibrant, if largely underground gay nightlife in cities such as Mumbai, Delhi, Hyderabad, and Bangalore, including discos and nightclubs. The police used to harass homosexuals in the past but things have changed dramatically in the last six years. The situation in smaller cities is more complicated, while there are no gay discos or parties, there are however cruising areas in all major cities. These cruising places are still occasionally monitored by the police, especially in North India but the biggest threat seems to come from blackmailers and hustlers.


Moving onto the entertainment industry, the country's best-known director Karan Johar is widely rumored to have ongoing relationships with lead actors Shah Rukh Khan and John Abraham. Johar has made some small attempts to put some positive references to homosexuality in his movies and featured a short kiss between two men on the streets of New York in his film Kal Ho Na Ho.

Otherwise the media sticks to demonizing homosexuality. Newspapers are happy to print stories of gay people being punished by the local community. And the majority of films that have gay characters--like Girlfriend--cast them as villains and see that they die painful deaths.

India has a problem addressing all forms of sexuality. Extramarital affairs are commonplace, and though no one wants to say that sex happens before marriage, droves of teenage girls come home pregnant every day because they never received sex education. Homosexuality is demonized in the media and everyday discourse, and millions of people are forced into arranged heterosexual marriages while they clearly lust after something else.

Come to think of it, the woman in Dharmsala may have been onto something. While holding hands is a way to express friendship here, it is the one avenue for gays to come out into the open without feeling attacked by the world around them.